My Stroke Story - handmedownsue.


: Minnesota

: I was poisoned by carbon monoxide for four winters and almost died the last winter. I thought all my problems were from the damage caused by the CO, but have just found out that I had a stroke. I need to find out if the CO caused the stroke, when I had the stroke and how to live with all the things I can't do any longer. Last night I took out pictures and realized why there was something wrong with them for all this time. One shows I am walleyed and others show a lazy eye and drooping of my mouth. But I had so many things happening from the chronic CO poisoning I don't know what caused what. The last winter I was being poisoned I was vomiting, passing out behind the wheel when I'd try to drive, and unconscious at work and at home. My hands were useless, I couldn't do math, forms I could do in five minutes were completely foreign to me, there were days I could barely walk, times I thought I was having an anxiety attack with tunnel vision, there was one point where I had zigzag lightening bolts going across my eyes, another time I was talking to my son and some unseen force shoved me back into a wall (my son saw this too), I started typing complete wrong words (came for from, now for can and so on), the left side of my neck was in severe pain for over a year and a half and every said it was stress, my hands would blow up right in front of your eyes; so many things. The doctors kept blowing me off and I led myself to believe I was making myself sick. But my job got harder and harder to do. I couldn't relate to my husband and son. I divorced my husband because I felt I had to but question if he really deserved it or not now. I've thought I was crazy, and almost wished someone would put me away in a nice asylum. But I didn't make it up, it wasn't my imagination and now I know the truth. It's a relief of sorts but now I'm so angry that my boss' cheapness stopped him for checking the furnace and that I almost died and that lead to a stroke, and now I can't function as I did before. I was managing three companies and now I have lost my job, my house, my credit; everything. I keep trying to get jobs even though I don't know how to do the work anymore. I was just let go from another one for my poor memory. I don't know how to be anything else and I can't remember how to be what I was. I am not the same person any longer and I miss me so much. I just want to be able to work and take care of myself and it's so hard all by myself. Now we know and I'm going to have a six hour psychometric testing to see what areas of my brain have been affected. My hope is that it will be the proof I need to get help, and finally be taken seriously.

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